Unintelligible news release quotes

Flipping through the daily news releases at Canada Newswire, I am floored by some of the executive quotes that see the light of day. To be fair, most of the news releases on the site are actually fairly well-written. But every day, there are at least a handful that are simply awful. It makes you wonder who's writing these things (not to mention who's approving them).

Think about it. Each of these documents has probably been in development for weeks. They've been back and forth between communications/marketing and the executive office. They've been through 12 sets of eyes, legal, compliance, etc. And the result? Well, enjoy:

"Localizing the user interface in Japanese for Thomson Innovation means
enhanced usability for our customers, enabling them to access our global,
award-winning IP research and analysis resource with valued-added DWPI more easily within their local business environment," said Mr. Mark Garlinghouse, vice president and managing director of the Asia Pacific Scientific business of Thomson Reuters. "This investment demonstrates our strong commitment to Japan and plans to expand our market here with corporate solutions."

"This contract is a fantastic first step for Mint's global expansion, and is consistent with the Company's business model targeting the credit underserved population with tailored products by partnering with prominent corporations and consumer brands providing large distribution channels. Migrant workers are a large portion of the population who are underserved, and our prepaid payroll card makes receiving wages and the transfer of money simpler and cheaper than current available alternatives."

"Citadel Solutions' decision to use AC Plus for its fund administration
services demonstrates the value of robust data management and its potential to generate revenue. Asset Control helps to take the operational burden out of data management, with Citadel Solutions as an example of a firm that is harnessing AC Plus' capabilities to streamline data capture and standardize its distribution. By using AC Plus to enrich the platform it provides, Citadel Solutions is able to gain a competitive advantage through the application of advanced technologies."

These companies invested time and money in crafting these news releases and sending them out into the world in an effort to build awareness, increase their profile and generate new business. What lost opportunities.